I am not different from anyone, I don't have great ambitious, I will never be famous or appear on TV, but in everything I do, I put my heart in, myself in, sometimes I get tired, it's hard swing against the tide and against the plans everyone has or had for me.
I always expect the worse from people now, so they can surprise me with something good and incredible, or just not surprise me at all, I am always reading the peoples bodies and facial expressions to have sure if I can trust them or not, if I can do be myself or not, it's very rare find someone with who I can be myself, tell what I think, explode my emotions the way they come and them ask sorry to be so bitter or so silly, after I think about what I did...
I wake up every morning wondering, where I will end up, what places I can go see, I still afraid of some many stuff, the most absurd of them is my fear of change, I don't like changes what is the worse thing to fear, because everything is changing all the time and every second. I am trying work it inside my mind and is a lot of work to overcome your traumas and reach a state of harmony and understanding with life. I can't change who I am, I was built everyday into what I am, with experiences that sometimes I don't know how deep they got into me. When I look back, I see how hard was and is be alive, the people don't know the impact they have in your life, they don't know how offensive they are and if you are good and kind, people see you as fragile and naive.
I am not naive, I saw and lived many things that could make me bitter, which I am in some situations, but 100% bitter, to the point of not caring about nothing, not have emotions and feelings... I wake up everyday with a knife in my chest, trying to make things better for me and everyone I know, respecting their pain and trying to understand their soul. But I am only human, it's not easy stand up and walk everyday when all the universe is testing you to your limit. The universe has me on my limit right now.
I feel like I will break in half and become dust, but I still fighting, now I just need to rest, my heart, my mind, my soul.
I always expect the worse from people now, so they can surprise me with something good and incredible, or just not surprise me at all, I am always reading the peoples bodies and facial expressions to have sure if I can trust them or not, if I can do be myself or not, it's very rare find someone with who I can be myself, tell what I think, explode my emotions the way they come and them ask sorry to be so bitter or so silly, after I think about what I did...
I wake up every morning wondering, where I will end up, what places I can go see, I still afraid of some many stuff, the most absurd of them is my fear of change, I don't like changes what is the worse thing to fear, because everything is changing all the time and every second. I am trying work it inside my mind and is a lot of work to overcome your traumas and reach a state of harmony and understanding with life. I can't change who I am, I was built everyday into what I am, with experiences that sometimes I don't know how deep they got into me. When I look back, I see how hard was and is be alive, the people don't know the impact they have in your life, they don't know how offensive they are and if you are good and kind, people see you as fragile and naive.
I am not naive, I saw and lived many things that could make me bitter, which I am in some situations, but 100% bitter, to the point of not caring about nothing, not have emotions and feelings... I wake up everyday with a knife in my chest, trying to make things better for me and everyone I know, respecting their pain and trying to understand their soul. But I am only human, it's not easy stand up and walk everyday when all the universe is testing you to your limit. The universe has me on my limit right now.
I feel like I will break in half and become dust, but I still fighting, now I just need to rest, my heart, my mind, my soul.
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