This week I was thinking about my life, as I always do, and then I was thinking about love and how I started use this drug in my life, and as far as I remember the first time I fell in love I was in my first day on the first grade and I had six years old, I saw this little boy sat next to me and I still remember how I felt, how was the light and it was 22 years ago and I still remember this little details and how I felt, there is something about firsts love that you can't forget, and off course the little boy didn't have any idea that I loved him, I didn't have any idea how love could be in that time, I just knew that the boy some how became special to me and as I grew up this feeling was becoming more clear, that I really loved him, or at least felt attracted to him, but off course he didn't feel the same way. At some point he discovered I liked him and we kind engaged on a relationship, but I was 13 and my mom was kind: "Boyfriends just when you are 15". I got my first kiss with him and was terrible because I didn't know how to kiss, I let him go because I was a princess stuck in a tower and he was a bird that was flying through the skies of freedom. We kissed again when I got older and was the best kiss ever and I will never forget.
Off course after ten years of platonic relationship I had to wake up, I couldn't just hold on to an impossible love, because first he didn't feel the same way and second we have to move on, and looking into it, I always loved too much, always gave everything I am and even being so intense, at same time I am learning to love lightly, without any attachment. I am learning to accept that if I don't find that special person is okay too, because in our lives exist many kinds of love and I have to cherish them, and I will never be alone in my life if I have good friends, we are always meeting new people.
It makes terrible sad when I think that I might not have a pair to live my life, but I have to move on, life goes on, I can still do all the things in my life with love and keep loving, because Love is everything to me and will always be with me, until the end of my days.
Then I remember something about that came to me, as a Shakespeare poem, but I don't have sure that it is his: "People love you, not the way you want them to, but the way they know". That phrase I never forgot and that poem I never stopped reading, I have to learn and I will learn.
It's hard to feel alone in the world and walk around with a hole in your chest, I want find someone that matches me and want me to match him, but again, life is a big wheel and also there is another phrase that is very true, for when you are happy or sad: "It will pass".
In another words life sucks, but since we are here let's live it the best way we can. I am trying, I still hanging in here, maybe when I am very old will get easier.
Off course after ten years of platonic relationship I had to wake up, I couldn't just hold on to an impossible love, because first he didn't feel the same way and second we have to move on, and looking into it, I always loved too much, always gave everything I am and even being so intense, at same time I am learning to love lightly, without any attachment. I am learning to accept that if I don't find that special person is okay too, because in our lives exist many kinds of love and I have to cherish them, and I will never be alone in my life if I have good friends, we are always meeting new people.
It makes terrible sad when I think that I might not have a pair to live my life, but I have to move on, life goes on, I can still do all the things in my life with love and keep loving, because Love is everything to me and will always be with me, until the end of my days.
Then I remember something about that came to me, as a Shakespeare poem, but I don't have sure that it is his: "People love you, not the way you want them to, but the way they know". That phrase I never forgot and that poem I never stopped reading, I have to learn and I will learn.
It's hard to feel alone in the world and walk around with a hole in your chest, I want find someone that matches me and want me to match him, but again, life is a big wheel and also there is another phrase that is very true, for when you are happy or sad: "It will pass".
In another words life sucks, but since we are here let's live it the best way we can. I am trying, I still hanging in here, maybe when I am very old will get easier.
Nenhum comentário:
Postar um comentário