One of those days

I don't know for how much time I can hold on to my senses.
I feel happy and sad. I can just smile and not cry. I can't cry anymore.
I feel the constant pain of loneliness, I hope for better days.
Seems that you can't have everything in life, you can't have a lover and a job.
I should be grateful for wath I have, but being positive wasn't never my strong quality...  Every time I feel happy I kind wait for the end of it. Not that I spend my life looking for bad things to happen, but they just happen with me all the time.
When I think I am doing progress everything comes back to the beginning.
I miss my friends,  the ones that I have and call and just cry for hours, because today is one of those days where things get heavier to carry and if I can support this or not. I lost a little bit of my faith and with the people that I love here, the heavy things are even heavier.